I am sitting in my little cabin, about to run to the store to buy butter for my cornbread. I often eat cornbread and nothin' else for supper. It is cheap, filling and comforting. So little is soothing anymore that I will take the love as it presents itself. Sugar and chocolate are rarities for me, so I will allow myself these little comforts.
Folk music is magical. The fiddle and the banjo are delectable to my senses. Combine the tunes with cricket noise, a sleepy pup and the mingled scents of nag champa and green leaves and you have you a mountain utopia. At least in my mind.
I must always be grateful. I must work harder and harder every day for this life. This is where I belong, I belong in this home, in this life, in this wonder. God is good.
I don't even care that my front view is the back of my landlord's house, the rest of it is so lovely. I feel so fulfilled when I come home from work to my little abode full of canine affection and my little knick knacks...
The evening will be here soon and I will keep to myself, as I usually do. No guilt, no pressure. I am alone and I am so thankful for the ability to be OKAY alone. God has healed my heart so many times. I must be careful with it, I must ensure I don't have to keep starting over, it simply is not worth it. I will always love Caleb and Tadin. Always. They are my boys, for better or for worse. I cannot imagine not knowing them. I think of them as I sit at my table and enjoy the evening serenity.
Thank God my mother raised me to love this life. Thank Him who reigns on high.
