I am posting twice today, and that is because in one day, I have managed to feel so much. I feel as though I have lived two lives. It hurts so badly to reflect on so much. But I have to... I have to gain perspective on my situation now so as not to trap myself in the same old misery.
Why can't it ever be simple? Or at least carefree? Why so much stress and worry? I have handled too much. I have seen too much. I have loved too much, but I know that I am but a child and I have any years of misery ahead...
Those songs...there are quite a few that, without fail, every time I hear them, I collapse in tears. The sound is so pure and the memories still so recent that I find myself drowning anew. I can never change the channel though. I can never bring myself to send those thoughts away. As sad as they are, as much as I have lost, I cannot bear to forget it all. The memories are precious...regardless of the outcome.
Love was shared, misery was, as well. BUT love... as Tadin once said, there is always some good in these things. That good thing is that there was love. Even if it was never spoken of, there was love. For everyone of them and from every one of them .
I do often feel like the love only grew after it was over... maybe it was only realized then. We always take for granted what we have, it is refreshing to look back, see what it was like without that person or something to that effect. It would fix our world if we all just took a step back and realized with a jolt how much we have to be grateful for and how much love we truly could have...
Just a thought...
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